Let me go on the record and say I HATE online dating…or at least I used to. In the four years since my separation and subsequent divorce, I have changed. Divorce gave me some time and perspective on which I found a lot of room for improvement.
While I don’t like online dating, I like being single even less so I decided the only thing I had a choice about was my attitude. I decided to embrace dating as an adventure and among the things I did was create a “50 First Date” challenge and I invited my Facebook community to join me. I gave myself the following rule - I would not allow myself to “quit” or “give up” dating until I met at least 50 men. ( I don’t want to meet 50 men by the way. I want to meet “the one” and stop counting)
I began dating on 11/11/17. Leading up to this time, I learned as much as I could about dating. I listened to podcasts, read articles, took online webinars and had many conversations with other “daters”.
I read a great book, “Calling in the One”. The author ended up marrying a man she never would have considered dating. If you are really open to meeting someone, you have to let go of your preconceived notions about who you’ll date or not date. For me, saying “yes” when I would have previously said “no” allowed me many experiences I never would have had.
Before the challenge, I waited for men to engage me in conversation and ask me out. As a result of a dating webinar I listened to, I learned a woman does not exist to a man until he’s met her IRL (In Real Life).
Another great book, “If the Buddha Dated”, said you need to show up authentically. If you attract someone wearing a “mask”, eventually the truth is going to come out. This also means communicating honestly about what you want/need in a relationship.
I learned A LOT more out in the field and decided to share it…or you can be like my kids and learn the hard way. Go ahead…touch the stove top and see if it burns ;)
Bring on date #28.