“Thank your for being my therapist”. R.S.* I just hung up the phone with (R.S.), a divorcing woman married for more than 25 years. She is facing her first move alone and has decided since her children are grown to leave San Diego and pursue a graduate degree.
For her and other clients facing divorce, the move is one of many scary transitions coming at you at one time. We were organizing the logistics of her move and she broke down when she started talking about which belongings she was going to keep from her adult childrens' childhood.
As she choked back the tears I reassured her that it was okay for her to feel sad and reminded her everything she was experiencing was normal. I could say this with empathy and certainty because I too had gone through my own divorce and remembered feeling the same way.
It was at my own divorce attorney consultation I was told a judge could force me to sell my home while going through divorce.
“Not everybody understands the emotions and the ups and downs. I am blessed to have you understand.” R.S.*
Unless you’ve experienced divorce yourself, you really can’t grasp the pervasive affect it has on your entire life (read a past blog for more on the subject).
A couple weeks ago, I received a call at 10 p.m. at night for a panicked divorcing client. Her home was in escrow and we needed to coordinate the logistics of her move. The conversation naturally turned to her loneliness since her children were with their father for the weekend and she hadn’t quite found her place when she wasn’t “being a mom”.
This clients move was more challenging because of her autistic daughter needing consistency and routine. We took pictures of her room to recreate a room where she could feel comfortable.
This couple was referred by their mediator, Alison Patton of Lemonade Divorce and CDFA, Carlie Head (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) who’d both been trying to get the wife to agree to sell the home and move. As is often the case, one party wants to keep the home and provide a stable place for the children as they come to grips with all the changes a divorce brings on the family. Sadly though the reality of splitting the family income and maintaining two homes usually isn't realistic. She reluctantly agreed to meet with us and after hearing about our program decided to trust us and move forward with the sale.
Last week, while she is at work, the Silver Linings Transitions team got her settled into her new home. The pictures above represent the move and the expression on her face (as well as her children). We could not take the pain of the divorce away but we were able to work as a team to make the process just a bit easier.
More about Divorce Home Solutions. Jami Shapiro, owner of Silver Linings Transitions, a move management company joined Bryan Devore my Realtor Partner of Pacific Sotheby’s International Realty and I were introduced by a mutual friend a few months after both of us were separated.
His real estate business combined with Silver Linings Transitions, my move management company were a natural “marriage” ;) and together we started Divorce Home Solutions.
There are a ton of great Realtors in San Diego but none offer our combination of unique and emotionally supportive services while helping divorcing couples manage the logistics of dividing belongings, selling their home and moving, allowing them to ultimately open the door to their fresh start, a space of calm where they can begin healing.