Unless you've been seriously burned by an ex-spouse or a past love, if you are divorced, it is very likely that you've dipped your toe into the "dating pool". Tread lightly my friend, the water is POLLUTED!!!
In all seriousness, when I was single the first go round, life was A LOT simpler. As a single parent there is a whole new set of criteria and limitations. Now, I need to consider someone's custody schedule before I even establish whether or not there's chemistry. Since my last time being single was in 1997, it feels like the dating world is a completely different planet.
I would consider myself fortunate because I split custody 50/50 and two of my children are old enough to babysit. For those who aren't as lucky, there are also costs associated with babysitting.
Now imagine I've gone through the time it takes to meet someone online, engaged in conversation, gotten my hopes up and primped and traveled for the date only to discover I've been "kitten fished". (Kitten fishing is when someone falsifies their profile - either their age, height, job status, etc.)
Between parenting, working and maintaining a household, I don't have the luxury of extra time or the bandwidth to handle the emotional roller coaster and neither do my single parent friends.
So I had a thought....
Why does all the time and effort spent getting to know someone need to go waste? Why not share the guys who've represented themselves honestly with my friends and spare them the agony of the "kitten fish" time suck? Kind of like vetting dates.
So I’m in the process of creating "Swap Meet”, an online tool to "exchange" dates. How I envision it working is that we decide the person isn’t for us but they appear to have honest profiles and seem to be nice enough to introduce to a friend. When (and if) they ask for a second date, if you aren’t interested you offer to add them to the Swap Meet group. The only criteria for membership would be that someone already on the page has met you in person and takes a picture with you from the date.
The post can include some important information like age, height, body type, etc. and a completely positive note about the date. (Think who’d you’d be willing to set up with your best friend.)
I believe it was McDonald you said you could turn a frown upside down. Now you can turn an awkward date into someone else’s mate (ok cheesy for sure but I can only come up with a good idea once a day ;). Regardless of the weak ending, if anyone can be spared the “kitten fish”, the project will be worth it.
About me, Jami Shapiro -
Together with Bryan Devore, a fellow single parent, we’ve used our divorce to make lemonade out of lemons by making the divorce journey a bit easier for others going through it. "Swap Meet" will be one of these projects. Other projects include a free support group, a dedicated Facebook Live show, Real Divorce Talk, addressing divorce and Divorce Home Solutions - solving all of the home related concerns from making the important financial decisions to sleeping comfortably in a new unpacked, organized and decorated and peaceful space allowing divorcing clients to take many of the significant stressors off their plates.